How to Honor and Obey your Parents

I’ve heard that you have to get fed-up enough wih something in order for things to change. So, I guess I got fed-up with being argued with this week. I read The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo a few years ago, and  I found his advice on dealing with this issue very helpful.  However, I haven’t put it in writing and posted it on the fridge until now.  Every once and a while we realize as parents that we have slipped and  become sloppy in some area of our parenting, and our kids have taken full advantage of our slippage. You give them an inch, and before you know it they have taken a whole mile. So, despite the fact that I have attempted to implement Priolo’s “Making an Appeal” method before, it has become apparent that without having it in writing as a Cannoy Family Rule, we get tired and overlook too many “Buts” and “Awwws” and end up costing ourselves time and energy and ultimately robbing our children of the opportunity to reap the benefits of obeying Ephesians 6:1. So, here’s what’s hanging on my fridge:

How to Honor and Obey Your Parents

Honor and Obey your parents with your words, actions, body language, and tone of voice

Answer them with “Yes, Ma’am,” or “Yes, Sir” when they ask you to do something, and do it right away.

Any sentence beginning with  “Awww…”,  “But….”, “Can’t I just…” or anything of that nature is an Improper Appeal.

Improper Appeal = extra chore

Forgetting or failing to respond is disobedience.

Disobedience = extra chore

Making an Appeal

Most of the time you need to obey without making an appeal. However, occasionally you may have new information that your parent might not know about. Make sure it is NEW information! If you need to give your parent NEW information here is how to do it:

You:  “May I make an appeal?”

Parent: A.“Yes, you may” or “No, you may not”

(Remember, your parent had the right to decline without explaining to you why. Asking “why?” would be an Improper Appeal).

You: present your new information respectfully and calmly.

Parent:  A. may reconsider and change their mind   B. may choose to deny your request.

You: Listen and obey

Warning: If your parent notices you are making too many Appeals or too many Improper Appeals you will be put on Appeal Probation.

Appeal Probation = Not being allowed to make Appeals until your parent decides you have had enough practice in obedience

Remember your parents love you and are doing their best to be fair and reasonable.

Ephesians 6:1

¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”^[a]

I also printed a list of extra household chores because part of my problem was a lack of ideas for consequences of disobedience. Now I just go to my handy-dandy chart and pick something, and my kids can count on a lovely consequence to any badchoices they make.  Already, after only one morning, I am enjoying my children’s company so much more. I have had to assign a few extra chores because kids didn’t do what they said they would, so my house is also getting cleaner! They did a great job on the extra chores and have received the bonus of praise from their mother and the satisfaction of a job well done!

Homeschooling Schedule 2010

I haven’t posted in a verrrrrry long time, but I thought some of you might be interested in seeing my plan for homeschooling with 5 children. Peter is in 5th, Alonna in 4th, and Ethan is in 2nd grade. Maddie is 3 and Taran is almost 6 months. Every new school year begins with high expectations  – and sometimes unrealistic expectations – and things always need to be re-worked eventually. So, here’s attempt #1 for the year at attempting to maintain a peaceful, organized, productive school day:

Fall Schedule

8:00 – Breakfast

After breakfast chores

9:30 – 12:00 – School

-          Circle Time/Bible

-          School with Ethan

-          School with Alonna

-          School with Peter

(This is part of a new plan to give each school-age child a designated time when they have undivided attention in hopes that they will not interrupt so much)  

Prepare lunch – lunch at 12:30

1:30 – 3:00  – School

-          Return to what you need to finish from the morning or begin another subject

-          P.E. (Soccer exercises, ballet exercises, playing ball, etc…)

-          Peter and Alonna will return to school activities until 3:00

3:00 – 5:00

-          Snack

-          Free play

-          Clean up time

Dinner

Bedtime – 8:00 for Ethan and Maddie – 8:30 for Peter and Alonna

(The following is a list of activities that kids can do during school hours when they need to occupy themselves and I am busy with another child.) 

Activities:

-          Coloring books/school books

-          Mosaic Mysteries

-          Help prepare lunch

-          Cube game

-          Teach Madelyn about shapes/colors/numbers/letters

-          Practice piano or recorder

-          Math problems

-          Spelling words

-          Do origami

-          Reading

-          Journal

-          Practice manners with a tea party

-          Knitting

-          Watercolor painting

-          Any lesson assignment that you are able to complete on your own

This is a typical Weekly Schedule:

Mon. – Soccer 5:30-6:30

Tues. – Library, Daddy’s bowling league

Wed. – Ballet 5:00-6:00 and Soccer 5:30-6:30

Thurs. – Small Group 6:30-8:00 (Leave the house by 5:45)

Fri.

Sat. – Ballet 11:30 – 12:30, Soccer games TBA

Sun.

Ultimately, at our house and with the ages of our children, character development always takes priority. If we’re not getting along we stop to work out our issues with each other – or if we need a day off we take one. We’e been reading a book called The Heart of Anger (1) which we have found very helpful with inforcing Godly discipline.  So, I’ll try to check in in a few weeks and let you know how it’s going! I think it just might work……

(1)The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo, Calvary Press Publishing.

Essentials Green Project: A Grain of Wheat Must Die

I was having a difficult time coming up with a green painting to go along with the blue and red ones from the other courses. Then I remembered John 12:24-25 (The Message):

“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever real and eternal.”

Essentials Green focused a lot on developing the inner life, and I have always loved the way plants and trees give a visual picture of how important the inner life is to the outer life. Without a good root system and water and nutrients from the soil the plant will die. And when a seed that is planted in the ground is given what it needs to grow, it grows into a plant that produces more seeds in order to reproduce itself many times over. What a great picture of what happens to us when we are rooted in God.

My hope is to reproduce all three paintings on a larger scale to display at church. The latest idea is to paint them on some sound buffers made from burlap stretched over frames, so they will, hopefully, be attractive and serve a practical purpose as well.

Essentials Red Project: Sunset

Project for Essentials Red

 

After doing an art project for Essentials Blue, I knew I wanted to do one for Essentials Red as well. However, the idea for this one didn’t come until a few days ago. I was reading through the Essentials Red course text where it talks about the meaning behind the color red. Dan Wilt mentioned sunsets as being associated with red, and I realized that a sunset also captures the time aspect of this course. The sun rises and sets and is a sign that time is passing. The sun has been faithful to rise every morning since the beginning of the world.

At the very end of the Old Testament, Malachi 4:2 (The Message) says, “But for you, sunrise! The sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings.” I believe this is speaking metaphorically of Jesus as the sun and is referring to the future and what we have to look forward to. So, I would hope that this painting would remind us of Jesus and His promised return. In that case this would be a sunrise – not a sunset – although, growing up in California, I tend to picture the sun setting over the ocean.

Other thoughts I had while painting was that I was attempting to make the sun feel somewhat “other-worldly”. It calls us to want to follow its path over the water, which, come to think of it, is a reference to baptism. Also, in Narnia, Aslan’s country is found over the water, and Aslan is referred to as “the emperor beyond the sea”.

The Old and the New.

I think we do “throw the baby out with the bath water” when it comes to wanting to try something new when the old no longer seems to be working.  I have noticed that church leadership is often tempted to start fresh with a new way of doing things.  I suppose sometimes it is necessary to do away with the old in order to breathe new life into a ministry.  However, I think it may happen more often than it should.  We are presently heading up the Alpha course at our church, and it has been an up-hill battle this time around because we’re at the point where interest and attendance is low. But according to Alpha experts, if we just keep at it and don’t give up, it will grow into a thriving ministry.

 A big reason for letting go of old ideas in search of new ones is that people seem to get bored and lose interest when it isn’t something new and cutting edge anymore.  It’s our short memory spans and impatient lifestyles causing trouble again.  One thing that struck me while reading Ancient Future Time[1] is how participatory the services were.  The congregation has a key role to play most of the time, usually by responding verbally or by standing, kneeling, kissing, or touching.  How do we bring that sense of everyone doing their part back into the worship service in a way that makes people feel like a vital part of what is happening?  When I attend an event and I have some expectation of what will be asked of me, I am more likely to come prepared with an answer.  It challenges me to grow and to prepare my heart for gathering as a church body so that I will have something to offer.

What if we began to embrace our senses instead of trying to suppress them?  I think we would dance more, kneel more, bow more, sing more. We would linger over our meals more, fill rooms with good smelling things more.  We would put more thought into our surroundings – including things that are necessary, but also recognizing that something that is visually pleasing is just as important, and something that is an eye- sore should be dealt with.  We would be excellent about the quality of sound we are producing with our instruments and be more intentional about what we let ourselves listen to.  We would embrace each other more, and look each other in the eye more.  We would put money into things that aren’t necessities, like art supplies and new instruments and fresh flowers, more.  We would put more thought into the words we speak instead of speaking without thinking.  We would leave room for silence more.  We would become more aware of each breath we breathe.

I think finding ways to acknowledge that the spiritual and the physical world are linked is a key to restoring longevity and meaning to what will otherwise become outdated and meaningless.  We need to hear the story of where we came from over and over.  It’s not repetition, it’s remembrance – remembering where we came from and where we’re going.  We need music and art that tell the historical story of God’s redemption, and we need music and art that speak of the hope and joy to come. Otherwise we become consumed with the present moment, and the worries of the physical world overpower us.  The spirit reminds us that God isn’t bound by time, and we are worshipping with our ancestors and our grandchildren when we gather in His presence.

[1]Robert E. Webber, Ancient Future Time (Michigan: Baker Books, 2004)

Beginning the Journey of Learning the Language of Time and Space

I have been thinking a lot lately about how to make holidays like Christmas and Easter more meaningful.  This last Christmas we tried very hard to fight the spirit of materialism that so easily ensnares us during that season.  We weren’t perfect, but I think we did make some drastic changes.  Not having a lot of money helps! 

My biggest motivation for wanting to find deeper meaning is my children.  I want them to look forward to Christmas and Easter not because they’ll get “stuff”, but because there is wonder and excitement in understanding the true meaning behind why we celebrate.  I want to instill reverence in them and the ability to take time to enjoy the simple things. 

I have noticed that I personally need to be reminded to slow down enough to remember why it is that I am working so hard.  I need to stop and meditate on the moment and on what God is teaching me and showing me.  I haven’t read much yet, but it seems like that is what learning the “language of time and space” [1] is all about.  If I don’t slow down and remember what God has done for me, my life will eventually lose all its meaning and sense of purpose.

I have never really acknowledged the season of Lent before, but I keep feeling a need to do it this year.  I haven’t decided what to give up yet.  I will let you know when I decide…..

[1]Essentials Red Online Studies in Worship History and Creative Vocation with Dan Wilt, M.Min

The Church

The Church by Lórien Cannoy

For my final project for Essentials Blue, I painted a watercolor painting on canvas.  In Simply Christian N.T. Wright talks about the church and compares it to a river and a tree[1].  This is my attempt to combine both concepts into one.  The church is like a tree in that it all started with Jesus – the seed – and the Body of Christ has grown from that seed and branched out in communities and individuals all over the world.  The church is also like a river because it is made up of people and groups from different locations, backgrounds and races, but  – like a river – all the streams flow together to unite and create one big river which is the worldwide family of the church.  The church is diverse but we are united with one commone goal and destination.  And, at the same time, we all originated from the same place – accepting Jesus as our Saviour – and from there we are called to extend God’s love to the rest of the world in our own unique ways.

So, I imagine at first glance this looks like a tree, but I hope that after a closer look people will also recognize that it’s a bunch of little rivers coming together to form one big river.  Yes, it is intentional that for Essentials Blue I have painted a picture primarily in blue.  I tried to keep it simple since I have a tendency to “overwork” my pieces.  We (Donny and I) had a little bit of trouble with the color while pasting the picture back together after scanning it in sections.  This was a first attempt to see if my concept worked.  I tried to give the branches the mannerisms of rivers, and I think I succeeded.  The real test will be hearing other people’s interpretations.  I hope to paint a bigger version and give it to my church.

[1]N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006)199-201

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt

Worship Theology

Worship is “acknowledging the worth of something or someone” [1]. Worship is a response.  When it is God that we are worshipping, it is an act that makes us more human – more of what we were made to be.  When we worship something else, we start to lose some of our humanness and we stop reflecting the image of God into the world around us.  Worship is what connects us to God’s kingdom while we are on earth.  Worship is a selfless act that brings us in to close relationship with God, and it is something that benefits us as well as God.  It is a place we go to where we are restored, re-energized, reminded, re-awakened, re-humanized.

Worship is versatile.   You can worship alone or corporately.  You can worship out-loud or silently – with words or with actions.  It can be done anywhere – although some environments lend themselves to it better than others – because it isn’t something that’s bound by earth’s space.  It is a place of escape and a place where heaven is breaking in.

God has given us the arts to help us get to that place of worship.  N.T. Wright says, “The arts are not the pretty but irrelevant bits around the border of reality.  They are the highways into the center of a reality which cannot be glimpsed, let alone grasped, any other way” [2].  Music and creativity are pieces of heaven that we have never lost – we got to keep them even after sin entered the world.  When a painter becomes inspired and is able to capture something from their imagination on paper,  or when a songwriter knows the words and melodies he is hearing must be coming from something outside of him,  we see and hear heaven breaking into the world. 

We worship God when we love someone that God loves – when we care for the poor and the outcast.  Worship brings the future – when God’s Kingdom comes to earth – into the present.  Revelation 20:3-4 says that when God is once again dwelling with man there will be no more pain or crying, and as the church we get to begin removing some of that pain now.  We get to be God’s hands and feet and words of healing to the world as we put into practice what Jesus taught us about what it means to be fully human. 

When we spend time in the presence of God, the natural result is a life over-flowing with love for his creation.   The act of worship comes so naturally to us as humans that we often don’t even realize that we are worshipping.  The problem with this is that we can become so distracted by God’s creation that we forget the Creator and begin worshipping something else instead.  The world is full of many things – some created by God and some completely anti-God – that can take us down a path to becoming less human.

That is why the role of the worship leader is so important.  The job of the worship leader is to create places where God’s Kingdom can break in and remind us of who we are and why we were created.  The worship leader is called to aid in re-humanizing, renewing, and transforming the minds of God’s followers (Romans 12:1-2).  For the person caught in a stressful schedule, the worship leader is there to remind them that those things that seem “unproductive” like singing or creating beauty are pleasing to God.  For the person who has lost a sense of purpose, the worship leader is there to remind them that God has great things for them to do.  The worship leader is there to help lift the veil and invite the weary and lost back into God’s presence.           

 [1]N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006), 144

[2] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006), 235

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt

 

Balancing Humility and Dignity

You know when everything in you life seems to match up to a common theme to the extent that it’s kind of freaky?  Sometimes God is not subtle, and he makes it very clear what it is he is teaching you about.  For me it have been learning to respond to people out of a place of humility and compassion.  From personal confrontations with people to seromons on Sunday to things that have been catching my attention while doing essentials blue.

Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message) says, “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.  Be even tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.  Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.  And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.  It’s your basic, all-purpose garment.  Never be without it.” 

Here are some of my thoughts: When we begin our day by clothing ourselves with compassion, I believe we respond to the day very differently than we otherwise would have.  If we aren’t going to God on a regular basis to accept his compassion for us and love for us, than we won’t have any compassion or love to give away.  Instead, we will respond with frustration and anger because we have forgotten that God is in control, that he has the power to make things right, and that he knows are needs.  When we don’t live in a place of humility before God, we begin to take on the weight of  the world, thinking is must somehow be up to us to fix things because we’ve forgotten that that’s God’s job.  And when we try to fix things without God’s influence, we end up frustrated at people for messing up their lives and ours – and then we are unnable to show them love and compassion.

One arguement that might come to mind is, “but people really are making a mess of their lives.  Doesn’t that make God angry too?”  Psalm 103 says that God is slow to anger and that he “keeps in mind that we’re made of mud”.  God knows we are broken.  And he knows that the best way to bring about change in our lives is through love and compassion. 

Yesterday I talked with someone who had been trying to show compassion but was becoming very frustrated with the situation and felt in over their head.  I felt very dissheartened and frustrated myself while talking with them.  I was frustrated with them for telling me how frustrated they were, because I was dissapointed with the lack of love and compassion that they were expressing.  So, how did I respond?  In the same way that they were treating the people they were frustrated with – by pointing out what they were doing wrong and what they needed to do differently.  I feel quite convicted now, realizing that my response should have been compassion.  I don’t know if they would have been able to receive love and mercy in that moment, but that is beside the point.  My heart wasn’t ready.  I had forgotten to clothe myself with compassion, and so I had none to give them when they needed it.  Instead, I found myself wearing their attitude of frustration and anger – and down-right pride for thinking I had all the answers.

So, in the future, I shall try to er on the side of mercy.  When I am tempted to judge someone for lacking in love and compassion, I must show them love and compassion.  I cannot do this on my strength, for I will fail miserably if I try to.  But I can start my day by remembering to dress myself properly – in love, compassion, kindness, quiet strength, humility, and discipline.  I am only mud, and I am thankful that God is so loving and merciful with me.  But God has made a way for me to be an agent of peace to those who haven’t learned to let God do it yet – those who still walk in darkness thinking it’s all up to them.  Yes, God does it, but if I let him, he will do it through me, and that is exciting and an honor.  I am humbled to think that he could use me and at the same time aware that that position is a position of dignity.  I better dress for the occassion.

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt

Christian Theology

Who is God? God is creator of the heavens and the earth, ruler over everything, community builder, and rescuer.    God, being love, expressed his love by creating human beings.  God is our all-powerful King, and at the same time our personal friend, embodying community within himself through the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.   

Who are human beings and why are we here? We are God’s image bearers, made in God’s likeness.  Like God, we are creators, community builders, and story-tellers.  Our purpose is to worship God – to bring God glory through our creativity, our relationships with each other, and to tell others what God has done and is doing through our words and our actions.

What happened to us along the way, and what did God do? Since the very beginning of human history we have been failing to reflect the image of God.  That is what sin is – not doing what we were made to do.   

The Bible is the story of what went wrong and how God is making everything right again.  It is story after story of man turning away from God and God drawing man back to him, like the story of the prodigal son, of Joseph and his brothers, and of the Jews rescued from slavery in Egypt.  God made a way for us to return to him by sending His son to earth to bring reconciliation between God and man.  Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, our ability to reflect God’s image and be in close relationship with God was restored.

What is the Kingdom of God? The Kingdom of God is heaven – the place where God is.  For now, it is where we go when we die.  Contrary to popular thinking, heaven is not some far-away place in the clouds – in fact heaven is so close that it overlaps and interlocks with our world, and with the coming of Jesus, heaven became even closer and more accessible.  By his Spirit, Jesus is still here with us on earth, continuing to draw people back to God. Those who have invited Jesus into their hearts have become the temple of the Holy Spirit – places where heaven and earth intersect..  Heaven is impacting and expressing itself on earth through Christians who are living by the spirit. 

What happens next?  Because of the death and resurrection of Jesus, God’s Kingdom is close at hand, but it hasn’t fully arrived.  One day Jesus will reappear and God’s Kingdom will arrive here on earth.  Then there will be no more pain, sorrow or death. Even our bodies will be resurrected, because everything on earth will be made new again and restored! 

In the meantime, we get to play a part in bringing God’s Kingdom.  We are called to practice living how God intended for us to live – worshipping him and working for his Kingdom.  We are holy, immortal beings, called to become more human – more of who we were intended to be.  And we are agents to the rest of the world, letting them know the good news – that God is pursuing us and making all things new.

Ideas are based on the following resources:

Essentials Blue Online Studies in Worship Theology and Biblical Worldview with Dan Wilt

N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006)

 

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Blue Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt